RAWR !

If i say that my life has been great lately i'd be lying

Ha it figures i couldn't have a normal life, i don't feel like going into detail so...

oh well

Halloween

It is halloween today, i don't see what the big deal is anymore, its not as creepy or exciting as when i was little, i mean, im sitting here talking about it.

its not like when i was little chasing around my cousin till he was screaming with fear of being caught, that was always hilarous, but now i don't care.

Maybe cause its my grandmother and great grandmothers birthday today, yes, its on halloween, probably the worst trick or treat ever !!! :P

i nearly passed out from trying to draw them something for it, in the end i got a butterfly and a horse, i hate drawing butterflies now, they are way too fiddly.

Also, i may finally be able to put up more deviations on my deviantArt account it is a mircle, hopfully a mircle that will occur today !!!!

So in commemeration im going to put up one last drawing :D :D

This one is a centaur :D:D

http://little-deamon-child.deviantart.com/

Anyways...

Err

OH god!

I have a cold, tis aweful, i feel so bad, my nose and ears area all blockeded, and my eyes itch and i'm dizzy, err, tis horrible. I went to the doctors and i am not going to school tomorrow as well.

According to him i need rest, pfft, i slept till 1230 today, like i need rest...

Anyway...

Sometimes...

Sometimes i wish that i hadn't been born, or that i should have killed myself all the times i've had a chance. it would have solved a lot of problems. such as my inablity to be treated nicely by anyone in my family, i got yelled at by my great grandmother, and i hate yelling, so much, its one of the few things i can not stand, and instead of my family being nice, as i cried they made jokes about me, pff, does anyone else have a family like that?

i think its kinda wrong that they do this, meanwhile, i'm still not allowed to use the camera to upload drawings onto deviantart and its driving me slowly nuts!!!

I'm sorta using here as a substitute, sorta, putting up some of my old ones up here too, for example this one. This was a drawing i did with a reference from a book on wolves i have :D

Wolves are the best :D

My self

This is also another drawing I have done, it is another version of my fur self, cause you know i'm secretly a werewolf in disguise, jokes.

This is my deviant art ID at the moment, love my deviantArt account, i don't think i'd survive without it. my friends introduced me to it, but i haven't been able to post artworks lately and its killing me.

This character's name is Mayiaa, she is a wolf-dog, of a special sort. she can change from human to this form at will.

Her distinctive markings are the cheetah tear drop markings on her snout as well as the white muzzle and crows feet like markings on the corners of her eyes.

http://little-deamon-child.deviantart.com/

Anyway...

Don't know what to say...

I have found that lately, for some reason or another, i don't have any idea what to say to people, or how to express my emotions, i've always had a problem with the latter but it seems to be getting worse.

I find myself more distant from my friends, and i don't want to be, i mean they're my friends, and i kinda enjoy their company, but something is making it hard for me again, i need to figure out what it is before its too late.

Also, i thought i'd add one of my drawings, this is of my pack, a weird sort of way of regarding my family. Not blood relatives, of course, not close to them. This is my friend family, just me the one with black fur and the other two. Anyway...

Ha!

I'm in year twelve.

Have been for a week now people say its supposed to be different, but its isn't really, except they treat you more equally, don't talk down to you as much.

I'm planning out my art major, tis so much fun, i'm doing wolves, as a whole.
Kinda playing through the journey of a wolf through life, starting with one as a pup and then from on there to child, adolencent, adult old and death. yeah :D

Anyway, i'm looking for pictures of wolves i can use as a reference while im practicing and that. Despite living in Australia i've felt passionatly about wolves for a long while now, and i don't think that they should be taken off the endangered species list and allowed to be culled again like i've heard they are.

this is wrong. Andd all those people who don't like wolves, just to go along with other, having no legitamate reason, eg. cattle being killed, etc. then you are all hypocrites D:

i think that all animals should be given a chance !!!

http://www.b4hsc.blogspot.com/

anyways enough...

blah

Ah i started the preliminary trials dis week, it has been pretty bad, you dont realise how little you know till they make you do a test on it.

it was almost hell today with the legal studies test, i didn't know how to answer the questions in one part and it was impossible to understand, its like they set them out like that one purpose :S

you cant win them all i suppose, but whether i win any will be another matter entirely :S

Randomness

Oh well, my little ripping at my arm problem is back again, my mum flipped, and so did my best friend, she hit me about five times spread over about three minutes (my friend, not my mum) she really doesn't seem to like me doing that but i cant really help it, my teacher in sport half drove me to madness, everyone was supposed to be well, doing sport and almost no one was and she singled me out of about twentyfive kids to say, get up and do sport!!

then when i am reluctant because i wanted to be by myself, she stalked over to a boy and asked if i could play on there, turns to me with a sneer and then says, see! was that so hard!! as though i didn't know that, but really, she didn't need to be so rude about it, she is always singling me out to say something nasty.

and she seems to wonder why people don't like her, she's rude and obnoxious and has no nice ness in her at all.

i don't even know why she's a teacher if she can't be civil

randomness

haha, im talking to one of my best friends, he is so weird, and he is hilarious, and he knows just what to say when your upset, most of the time

;P

he's great :D

My friend

Oh my god, you know you have the best friend ever when they cry cause of your pain. she seriously flipped when i told her. saying how sad it was that i could do that, i really appreciated it, she'll probably never know how much

The Family Wars

Well, as if to contradict me, today my sister and mum had a massive fight and i mean massive, they sreamed so loudly at each other that im surprised no one called the cops, it was over school, cassie refused to go cause she would be late and well, if she hadn't been complaining she would have got there on time, and then they had another fight when she got home from school. as much as i dislike her, i hate it when people yell, or fight, it kinda upsets me a bit, but oh well if i dont want to be targetted next i'll stay out of it, its better that way :P

my account on deviant art is awesome, anyone into art i recomend deviantart.com tis the best :D
my account is :P http://little-deamon-child.deviantart.com/ i love my art :D

Inequality 2

Have you ever felt like the whole world is against you, like your family and that no one will ever care about you or what you think or feel. I feel like this all the time, it is, upsetting, my sister has always got priority over me and it make me angry and sad all at once, the two things that keep me happy are my friends and my artwork, i love drawing, and my friends so much, when my sister insults my artworks no one has any idea how much it really hurts, but i always take it, i used to do stuff to myself to make me feel better, i haven't in six months or so, but today was the last straw and it happened again, i dont know how i can feel guilty about something that in truth i have no control over, and you know who makes me feel guilty about it, my mother, as though im doing something to her, or casey, but im not.

she gets all angry at me, telling me that i should be doing this cause of how it affects her, cause its all about her :S yeah right, of course it is, its always about her.

its not like i want to do this but this, drawing and my friends are the only things that make me happy, or feel better anymore.

the other day when i was really depressed, my mum was yelling at me for being in a bad mood, however my friends immediatly noticed that i was upset and tried to comfort me, to me there are no better people :D

they're really all ive got left, but they dont know that, they dont understand why i get so protective, no one has ever stuck with me for so long and made me feel as happy as i do when im with them.

oh well better get back :P cya !!!

Busy

has there ever been a time when you wish you had nothing to do but really you have way to much, thats whats up with me this week, and whats worse is that i have crossroads again next week which always puts everyone behind on their work and we can't affor that anymore, our teachers, aren't all that encouraging, they are telling us that we need to study even harder than we are now, but that is difficult when they don't gie you time, and there are so many people in my year (11) that half the time it seems like they are using as many excuses as they can to get rid of some of us it makes it all very tiring :P

after a while however you almost get used to it, :P well thats what people tell me anyway, i haven't, but i can dream :D

Relaxation

Well, relaxation is hard to find when you're piled up with this much work, yep, i have an english assignment due on monday on poetry (brutal) and i have a japanese writing task some time this week so i have to practice writing hirigana the changing it to romaji (i think thats how you spell it anyway) and then answer the english questions in english its quite complex to do when you really have no grasp on the subject. And i can't understand the meanings of some of them.

Oh well !!!

Australian poetry is almost as bad, i mean theres nothing wwrong with it if you like that sort of stuff but im not a big fan and it gets so boring, its not like i have a real choice though, i want to finish highschool, and to do that i have to do all my assignment and pass all my tests. but you make do :D

i woke up really late today s well, but its allowed cause its a saturday, it was bout 0330 when i did.

i tend to relax a little from the research and i just watched something from a anime called wolf's rain, it was sooo sad, i cried, one of the characters, Toboe died, gah !!!

Oh well i better get back to it :D

Sleep

why do you need sleep, well there are lots of reasons, living being one of them, but sleeping for 24 hours straight is almost certainly un natural, thats what i've just done and i have a killer headache.

Listening to kate miller heidke is kinda helping though, her music is awsome!!!
:D even if no one else thinks so cause i've always been a weird on. God i'm almost embarressed having to use fake names for me and my friends and family but they deserve moderate privacy without me putting their real names out there. oh wells, "Blaze" is being well himself, the whole silent type thing, but to my surprise he's loosening up a little. not a lot but enough that he's relaxed, he always used to be so tense with everyone, now he is relaxing so am i, i guess when someone else is tense i am, and boy am i ever wound tight, sometimes i just have to let go but sometimes when i am really tense i can jump cause someone right beside me, who i can see does something sudden!!

anyway!!!

Family inequality!!

Hi Aabysinyaa!!!

You ever notice, that, being the eldest, everyone has high expectations of you:

• good grades
• dress well
• ability to do anything
• have your mind in the area of sanity
• be on top of anything and everything
• and then be able to do anything they ask!!

Well look i don't know how it is with anyone else but thats whats happening here in my family, i'm the oldest, and well today, i really enjoy just relaxing on the computer for a while, doing some stuff reading a bit and yeah, my little sister, lets call her Casey, yeah she is a total snob, what made her that way, my mother and grandparents, she has first priority over everyone else.

Oh! Casey is failing her class and she has a assignment due, we have to help her, the adult practically do her work for her!

Oh! Casey is asleep she must be sick Aabysinyaa feed her retard (he ran headfirst into a wall when he was a kitten) cat.

Today i fell asleep waiting for casey to get off the computer and when i wake up, not only is my cat, (the normal one) still outside come six o clock almost completely dark outside but i'm apparently in a bad mood, wonder why??

then i am told to feed our one of our dogs (we practically have a zoo), and i also have to do homework finish two assignments and also figure out why the fish in the tank in my room are getting sick: total fatalities of seven; 2.

Not only that, there are all these plans going on for year twelve and we aren't even in year 12 yet!!

I'm over it!!!

Dis is me!!

Hi !!!!

For privacy's sake I'm going to call myself Aabysinyaa, though anyone who really knows me, knows that name well, and anyone who knows a lot about countries knows it is a modified version of Ethiopia's old name. or maybe just Abby! :D

I am just a girl, you know, going through the same crap as almost everyone else, if your family is like the bold and the beautiful everyday! I think this will be my life, in story form. Like any teenage girl i have a secret crush, one, funnily enough i share with my best friend, lets call her Aaliyan, and lets call our shared crush Blaze, god i need creative help, (convert the names a little of them and you get the real ones :D)

Both me and Aaliyan share our liking for Blaze with each other and often (god forbid) swoon over him together.

Blaze is the strong silent type, you know the type, seen not heard, kind of the bad boy everyone can't help but like. However he isn't that all out badboy type, he is really actually a nice guy all artsy and animal loving and stuff and yeah :D

Aaliyan is awesome, best friend i've ever had, she is just about the most caring person you'll ever meet, is willing to help anyone out and is always happy-go-lucky! she is sweet, (glad she can't really see this and if she does, doesn't know its bout her) i'm not really the loving adoring type. My childhood was a little funky so i'm not very good at the whole sociability thing. when it count though, i do know enough to stand up for my friend and what they beleive in. which i do ardently and repeatedly, though i have a slight knack for pain

not always a good thing

i really like this guy "Blaze" and though i have no idea what to do or say or be around him, yay the life of a teenager